The festive season is not experienced equally by all. In fact, during such a period when loved ones get together, with friends and families celebrating the holidays, it can be even more challenging for those who find themselves alone or are struggling to cope with their experience of loss to get by. The experience of grief does not need to be recent for it to be difficult either and it is important to remember that individuals can find themselves experiencing the emotions associated with loss, such as anger and isolation, even years later. 

Grief can manifest during the festive season in many ways, with many finding themselves unable to control emotions as easily, perhaps unexpectedly breaking down or becoming suddenly angry at those around them, generally anxious about the holiday season ahead. While overcoming the experience of loss is a slow process that cannot be hastily resolved, several things can be done to ensure that the festive period is made easier to manage.

Celebrate In Your Own Way

The grieving process is unique to each individual. However, it can generally be made easier when a schedule is planned, minimising or altogether preventing unexpected events from occurring, such as finding oneself without company. Spending Christmas without a loved one for the first time, for example, can be remarkably difficult, which is why some individuals find it advantageous to plan ahead and arrange activities with others, so as to ensure they are not without company.

Others, however, might find the sense of seasonal celebration to be too much, or even overwhelming, and prefer to avoid gatherings or festive music. Those who do should not feel guilty for stepping back from festivity and, instead, understand that their emotions are valid. In fact, setting aside time to process and experience emotions, such as crying, can be a useful activity.

Be Understanding

It can be difficult to see others process their loss differently. Conflict can arise between friends and family if individuals do not feel that grief is being processed appropriately. However, it is important to remember that grief manifests in many ways, those that may not always seem apparent or even visible. By taking the time to understand and empathise with others, we can be a greater support to both them and ourselves.

Think About Traditions

Traditions are one of the most challenging aspects of the festive season for those overcoming loss. Many relationships between loved ones lead to the forming of Christmas traditions and, once they are gone, it can be painful to experience them knowing that there are strong memories connected to even small details.

Before significant days, it may be useful to consider personal traditions and emotions they might conjure. Some will find it useful to continue traditions despite an absence, such as hanging the stocking of a loved one, seeing the practice as a way to remember those they have lost or as an opportunity for it to be filled with the tokens of other’s affection. Others, however, might wish to start entirely new traditions, perhaps finding new ways to continue the memory of loved ones. No matter how an individual chooses to think about their traditions, their emotions are valid.

Communicate With Others

For those overcoming loss, it can be useful to communicate their feelings, as well as their intentions for the festive period, with friends and family. This will ensure that others are more understanding and, as a result, sensitive to decisions being made, whether it is to encourage festive invitations or to accept activities being declined.

Reaching Out

These considerations are not shared to resolve grief and some will find the milestone of a certain holiday to be too much to overcome. Should you feel that you wish to talk about your bereavement or seek help managing your grief, you may find it rewarding to reach out.

Our team offer counselling in Bristol, opening a non-judgemental space to those who might wish to begin seeking support for their mental health. If you would like to talk to us about how we can help or arrange an initial consultation, please reach us by emailing hello@bristolcounsellingandpsychotherapy.co.uk or, alternatively, by calling us directly on 07751 271709.