Acceptance v Denial

Sometimes the enormity of what’s happening in the world can be consuming. Sometimes the size of what personal challenges you have can be like swimming against the torrent. Sometimes the thought of both can drag you towards the dark. 

The challenge is to live with finding the balance between acceptance and defeatism. It’s not an easy balance to strike.

My life was turned upside down several years ago after an array of personal traumas led to my withdrawal from the way I saw life around me. I was angry, upset, hurting, desperate and disappearing into a self-imposed isolation. 

For most of my life I’ve been the so called class clown. I’ve made the show go on in my career in the media and imported my own unrealistic standards for what constitutes success.

This unfolded badly when a number of triggers combined in a short time and I experienced nine months of utter upheaval thanks to an undiagnosed neurological disorder led to seizures and complete memory intoxication for 9 months. 

Those nine months were extremely hard. I was in and out of hospital for prolonged stays. The combination of brain and mental trauma had turned my world upside down. 

I went from being someone who jumped out of planes, ran up mountains, worked in multiple media areas, and lived at a thousand miles per hour to someone who hardly left a bed for almost a year.

I was coming to terms with things slowly and then bang. Pandemic landed on our doorsteps and yet more personal challenges for me to steer through.

It’s hard to actually comprehend what is going on if you sit in it. I did that for a while. I watched the news 24/7. I got caught up with world news. I was getting caught again in general so realised the need to address it. 

The tools I found invaluable were the kindness of people on social networks. It has lots of bad press and rightly so but used correctly that stretch of a hand across the internet can help talk you away from the demons inside.

I sought out the help of professionals despite the limitations of Lockdown. Ideally I’d not be engaging via Zoom/Skype (other providers are available 😉 ) but in the situation we had and have that was a God send.

The power of nature, music, creative writing and self-care also played and still do play a major part of my life.

In reality, there are bad days but there are good days and as long as we all talk about it and unite then the power of our spirit will help us through.

 

A bit about Melissa Wharton

I’m a media guru who deals with the written and spoken word. I have over 20 years of experience in the media sphere but more so a person who has suffered from mental issues. I’m not ashamed of that and want people to know you’re not alone. A radio presenter, writer and more my main concern is people who are suffering.

I’ve worked for Real Radio, William Hill Radio, Fresh Radio and a number more. I’ve written for the Yorkshire Post, various local rags and online but more so I care about my fellow humans.